A few of my favourite things [Short Fiction]

TypewriterBAn exultant bellow escaped my lips and my arms waved wildly as I wiggled about to keep my balance – the wind in my hair and adrenalin surging through me.

It had been a wonderful Christmas party; mingling with the hoi-poloi and the Page-3 crowds, bantering with the few “real” celebrities and intellectuals in attendance and of course partaking of the fabulous selection of expensive scotch at the bar. The music had been mostly mellow jazz with a hint of R&B sprinkled throughout – designed skillfully by the reknowned DJ – and it kept the dance-floor alive while never truly intruding on those who were either disinclined or simply between jigging sessions.

urlSo it was that I passed my time on this entertaining and admittedly fun evening as the hour to end Christmas eve and begin Christmas day drew closer and closer. It was around eleven thirty that I found myself with my fourth glass in one hand and an absolutely scrumptious young lady clasping the other as we strolled to the otherwise unoccupied back-terrrace. As we walked, she giggled at my little jokes and her red hair flowed around my shoulders as she leaned into me and rested her by now quite-light-head.

Soon we were embracing on the terrace and it was a merry occasion indeed as I thanked my good fortune – the evening had gone far, far better than I could have hoped.

Of course all good things must come to and end, no matter how much we might wish otherwise.

So it was that once the mild sedative had taken full effect, I had to disentangle myself with heavy heart from the lovely young woman and quietly set her to sleep on the divan within so that I may move on to my true purpose.

Hidden within the nearby rear sitting room was displayed the actual Mona Lisa – not the masterful forgery that has been fooling “experts” and tourists for decades, but the real thing, stolen by the retired master-thief into whose home I had now lied my way.

Moments later I was running for life and limb as the security was on my tail and I jumped from the balcony and landed as planned on the sharply inclined glass skylight a few feet below and this is where we came in, me careening across a glass floor at high speeds, fifty stories above the city below, hoping positioning had been good enough to not miss the rooftop pool that was a full storey below the edge of this glass-face.

Oh and it’s been lovely but now this is definitely turning into possibly the most fun Christmas ever!

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