>Ok, this morning was maybe the wierdest one Ive had yet… and thats saying a lot. If you know me, this is not news. If figured since I cant really do shit about it, I might as well get an opinion off the fellow bloggers who frequent this page from time to time and get a good all round perspective…
For those of you who dont know me personally, I work 2 jobs: first as a freelance writer and the second in HR at a factory in the middle of bloody nowhere – dont ask why I took the job, thats a whole series of posts in themselves!
Anyhow, I woke up this morning at about 8:30 after sleeping at about 2 or 3 am as is now my usual habit and suddenly felt the urge to just stay there and balls to all my work. Now this is something Im sure pretty much everyones familiar with, we all have those slightly off days… Well here’s where it became a little strange – I was still not quite awake, so this entire experience was like this surreal lucid dream, but i wasnt exactly asleep so that made it really confusing.
Before I go on, quick science lesson so you dont get lost – the left side of your brain is the logical side of you and the right side is the creative and “whoopee!” part of your brain. Now the left side controls the right side of your body and vice versa (I dont know why, maybe its a balance thing?)
So now Im lying on my bed and I dont want to get up and start working on that fucking training scheme draft that Im supposed to submit… I have time and I dont need to, plus they dont have anyone else who’ll do it so why should I give a rats ass? Then I remember that I have to rewrite a story and mail it to this American magazine which is something I cant pass up. So now Im arguing with myself as to whether I should move. This entire time I can literally hear my left brain and my right brain arguing with each other in my head, to the point that my left arm is pushing me halfway up and my right side is firmly holding tight under me and wont let go the pillow. Im like this bystander for this inane scene that makes me feel like shaking my head and going, “what a frikkin idiot!”
Now my brain (right) recalls that not only is one story to be rewritten, but another 2 have to completed which Im workin on from scratch and my final deadline is the end of this month, which means I gotta write, submit, get feedback, rewrite, resubmit and hope they dont send it back with a ‘Dear John’ types letter… At this point both hemispheres of my brain come to and accord and decide that this would be a good day to stay in bed, and the head goes down, covers come up and Morpheus beckons.
At about this point, another part of me (im guessing theres a 3rd part of the brain that hasnt been discovered!) wakes up and proclaims, “fuck you guys, enough with this shit” and then proceeds to haul my sorry ass out of the bed and reach for that first smoke of the morning. Now once that butt is lit, theres no way Im going back to sleep and I hear this in my head:
Left brain: Fuck you!
Right brain: god damnit!
RB: Why? I want to sleep!
…and so on for the next few minutes until I do this Clint Eastwood thing and walk upto the sink and tell me to “Shaddup!”
Well from there on, I get dressed, have a cuppa tea, pack up my laptop and light up another cig before headin out to the office. Now Ive submitted the rewritten story and plan on finishing the HR scheme and then finishing one of the other stories(as much as i can anyhow) and then takin tomorrow as it comes.
Dont know about folks out there, but I talk to myself sometimes to sort shit out, but Ive never had an argument like that with me and never really heard myself argue with… well myself… it even sounds retarded..
My guess is this, either Im (A)Losing my mind, or (B)Losing my mind… theres also the possibility that I never had it, but no ones ever mentioned anything to me before so never took that thought seriously.
Any advice folks?