Stand back! There’s weirdness a-coming!

Another week, more madness, headaches, elations, chaos… ah, life… its bigger, bigger then you, you are not me… oops! sorry, trailed off with “losing my religion” kicking off in the brain box!In any case, its weekend time again and though Ive been musing and reflecting and planning to put up what I want to call my first “STATE OF THE INDIAN” address and talk about some of the things that have been going on and what I feel is the current and future outlook of our once great nation if looked at without ties to any political or religious line currently in play – just cold hard rationality… well lets just say I decided to leave that for Monday when the ire is high enough to REALLY get under the skin of things.

So Im going to leave the more extensive and intense topical postage for another day and give today a bit of a cocktail twist.
Todays special is a drink that goes down shockingly easy but leaves after-tastes both sweet, amusing and thought-provoking. As always a little intensity at first and then entertainment and leisure!
In its own way much akin to a certain beverage that I find conceptually one of the most intriguing and awesome ever imagined by any man – I give you the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster (with description for those that know it not – it is a drink which when consumed, the effect is akin to “having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a gold brick!”

The first tang to hit the palate is a strong and somewhat shocking taste, leaves at first a bit of an after-taste too:
For those of you following the news, I want to touch briefly on something that I saw today and just on principle it bothered me in a way I dont quite comprehend and begged to be commented upon considering some of what Ive seen in the media about it – Im not even going to start talking about the state of media, both in India and in general!
The cases in point are those of one Maria Susairaj and former IMF head honcho Strauss-Kahn – not a matter I ever thought I would be bothering to blog about. Today the verdict came in on the murder case against Maria S and her Navy-man which you can read about HERE and she was let of with the 3 years time served and her former fiancee was given 10 minus the 3 served. Now on the face of it, I can see why the judgement has been what it is in that she did not commit the actual murder not actively aid in making it happen (that can be proven) but her complicity and behaviour in the whole matter and the judgement based on conduct and principle is what has gotten to me.
I even did a little research on the matter and found this most saddening and excellently written piece that I would like to share with you that gives a few words on the matter at hand and then goes into some shocking detail of the extent and prevelance of murder and violent crime that is escalating among the countries youth. Stories such as a 21 year-old doctors son who killed his 67 year-old grandmother with a damned pestle(that short stick you grind things in a bowl with…) just because he couldn’t watch PORN in his room anymore while she was staying with the them?!? I mean really? This is what we’ve come to now? A BLOODY PESTLE?! Words fail me…

 (Pestle & Mortar – just so we’re clear)

Anyway as regards the Susairaj murder case, people are claiming that she is being unfairly prosecuted in the public arena just as the some reports say the infamous Dominique Strauss-Kahn has been – in case you missed it, he is now looking to be getting away scott-free because (and pay close attention here): the maid who he allegedly forced himself on lied on her asylum interview about being gang-raped and her ex who is in prison was in their for scamming people and she called him some time after the incident and expressed the idea that she might make money from the event. Fair enough. But consider this – she lied about being GANG-raped but was in fact raped, would you not want to leave her country behind? And as a refugee you would likely have a limited support system and if an ex is part of that, its not shocking, not to mention a refugee turning to crime. And in her position, when its pretty clear that getting him to jail will be a task, would it not cross your mind in her position to make some cash if you can in the bargain? Have people already forgotten (1) the other allegations including from highly respectable sources like a female journalist about his sexist and horn-dog behaviour? which no one denied but merely excused or supported as playful and that he would simply not force himself on a women, testimony to the contrary not-withstanding? And (2) the factual evidence against him such as his ..ahem.. DNA evidence that was found exactly where the maid claimed she spit it out and bruises on her private parts among other things?

And the same with Ms. Maria, she is being welcomed back to movie-land and her career with open arms and was smiling as you can see in this picture which Im sorry but to me looks like a disturbingly self-satisfied and smug look – either the best timed picture or just her bad luck to be caught in an unintended moment but such reflexes tend to be voluntary and not always controllable, in fact it is in these moments when we instinctively lower and turn our faces away to hide the expressions and slips that we dont want to show. Consider that she was engaged to Jerome Mathew who was a fight-trained naval-officer, she had caught him cheating and he had sworn off and then after time passed on one occasion he returned home from out of town only to find her barely dressed at the door and stormed in to find the naked victim-to-be in her bed. He then went to the kitchen where he got a knife, stabbed the guy so badly his guts literally fell out and then proceeded to kick and stab him. It did not occur to her to tell the guy to just grab a sheet and get the hell out of the place? She could not have tried to stop it? Ok, put that aside – after he was dead and lying in his own remains the bloody couple made up, had repeated sex in the same apartment and then following that she went out to get supplies using which they cut his body into 300 pieces before dumping it. Think about all this. And think about 300 pieces. We’ve all seen news and mob-stories and fact based movies and stories and books and blah, blah… who cuts a body into 300 pieces? Im not even getting into the sex they had with a dead body of their doing nearby. On these facts alone I would say she deserves to spend a good deal more time incarcerated and in an institution for the mentally insane and he needs the same plus hard time for the violent murder alone – not 10 years plus 3 served so seven more and he’s free to go? She didnt kill him but only helped destroy evidence – what about obstructing justice? Lying and hindering investigation? Possible intent given that she has been described by ‘her friends’ as willful, ambitious and sexually manipulative. It would not surprise me to find out she pointedly slept with the man who did not know about her fiancee and on that very day just to get back at her hubby-to-be and as a bonus there was conjecture about the victim using his connect as a TV Exec to help her celluloid career.
I like to believe that what Plato said holds true and there are many times where it proves so, yet there are just as many if not more times when it seems to fall short and what we see before us may be right by every letter of every law but everything in us screams that something does not sit right. If the court releases better reason for their judgement, well I would be happy to be proven wrong and for there to be no just cause for greater sentencing – but I hold out little hope. Personally both matter leave a bad taste that I dont like and gives me little hope for the future ahead of us, both as Indians and as human beings in society at large. Truth is still unclear and all indications the more and more I watch world affairs makes me agree with Danny Archer from Blood Diamond when he says,

“Sometimes I wonder… will God ever forgive us for what we’ve done to each other? Then I look around and I realize… God left this place a long time ago.”

BUT! That is enough of the more somber matters at hand, it is time now to move onto the more spirited flavours that will leave a smile on your face and amusement to remember for a while.
We delve into days of old antiquity today to bring to you the answer to a question Im sure everyone has been wondering about and heard many silly theories about:

THE ORIGIN OF THE MIDDLE FINGER, a.k.a., flipping the bird!

1) One theory that has been doing rounds of the internet for years is that somewhere around the Battle of Agincourt the French caught English archers and cut off a finger each before the battle had happened with the intention to take away one of the enemy’s most devastating weapons – the English Longbow. But the archers were still able to fire and waved remaining their middle fingers began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, ‘See, we can still pluck yew’! (this plucking part referring to plucking the bow-string of the yew-wood bows used for the long-bows. Since ‘pluck yew’ is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodental fricative F’, and thus it was!
2) Theory two however is more grounded in historical detail and sounds more plausible to me – and its all the more awesome in a way seeing as how it means that the gesture is 2500 years old! In ancient Greece where Aristophanes wrote about this gesture in his play “The Clouds” where none other than Socrates was presented the middle finger by Strepsiades!
And of course when the Roman’s imported this along with pretty much everything else that they got from the Greeks they called the finger the “digitus impudicus” (impudent finger), a term used many times in Roman literature, since it (a) was the finger used to clean the Roman backsides and (b) it was as the Greeks used it, a symbolic “rod & tackle” if you follow me!Also the “off” hand was used because it wasn’t used for everyday tasks, the middle finger because the thumb and pointer finger were used to grasp things, the ring finger symbolized love, and the pinky was, well, way too small to intimidate anyone.
3) During the Middle Ages, the finger went underground. Still known, but as is hardly surprising the Catholic Church frowned upon its use – they frown upon way too much if you ask me – as the middle finger was supposed to be holy at Mass. The unholy insult lurked deep within the hearts of filthy-minded folks such as myself everywhere, hiding from sight until a later century!
4) In the immigrant mish-mash of early 20th century America, the finger was the one symbol every man, woman or otherwise could understand. With the invention of the car, it could be delivered from behind the safety of glass & steel, and at great speeds. All the finger needs to deliver is a clear line of sight.
And now coming to the new millenium we can safely say that this once endangered historical idea has found a new lease on life and is thriving! Be proud people, be proud!

I do hope that this little education was as entertaining and enlightening for you all as it was for me! And one last cheery little amusement for you my friends, a song that I came across today and have laughed myself silly at it and decided it is the perfect anthem for that day off from everything or just a good Sunday when you can kick back and enjoy simple peace and quiet:

And lastly, before signing off again I leave you with something lovely to look at to relax the eyes and get the blood flowing just a little – for be ye man or woman, true beauty is undeniable no?

Cheers folks!

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