Crazy is the new cool?

 

Hey my fellow pub denizens!

So I was thinking the other day about how there are these weird parallels between the upheaval and general nutiness between whats happening here in India and in the US of A across the globe, what with a “people’s movement” hating on the government (deservedly) for all their crap and getting lost in their own self-righteousness a little and a political system that no longer functions the way it used to – no dependable allegiances, power-plays and mud-slinging and back-stabbing galore, loss of all focus on purpose and congresses that are a national shame.

Now I grant that these are surface similarities and when you get down to the nitty-gritty there are of course differences – but its this similarity that got my mental chunk of stone rolling and the moss it was gathering was how the world over we are seeing major upheavals and conflict and chaos. It is either the dawn of a new age or the beginning of the pre-twilight serious-dark that precedes it – which one do you think?

But enough about that – there we have our food for thought, I want to concentrate on something else today. In the midst of all this chaos, perhaps its just me, but I see all the faces in the news and the rhetoric and slanging and the ideas being put forward as solutions and the actions being taken and I keep thinking, “Has everyone gone a little bloody bonkers?!?”

I don’t remember a time ever prior to this where I was convinced most everyone in charge was either crazy, a moron or a relatively normal sort surrounded by the same. One other type that has of course been a staple is the bastard-coated-bastard-with bastard-filling (thank you Dr. Cox!) that is the norm of certain elements in any power structure. Doesn’t give much hope I admit but in the very recent past its been highly entertaining. The most fun for me has been watching the US election coverage and specifically the Republican race. I love these guys! Its like comedy gold and what astounds me no end is how seriously people take these guys ideas! I mean, come on, seriously folks?!

The reality of this scarier version of "dubya" is undeniable...

So with that in mind Im going to share here a collection of the some brilliant quotes from two of the shining stars of the race!

First up, Texas governer dude Rick Parry, …er… Perry. (sorry, too much Colbert Report):

1. “From time to time there are going to be things that occur that are acts of God that cannot be prevented.” (On the BP oil spill, 2010)
2. “It’s a theory that’s out there. I’s got some gaps in it. (In response to a child who asked him if he believed in evolution, August 2011)
3. “I don’t think the federal government has a role in your children’s education.”
4. “Young Hispanics in Texas can aspire to be the next Rolando Pablos, the chairman of the Texas racing commission; maybe the next Roberto de Hoyos, who heads our economic development shop; and one of my favorites, the head of the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission Jose Cuevas. Is that awesome? That is the right job for that man.” (June 2011)
5. “You can always follow me on Tweeter.” (in a videotaped message to a crowd of conservative bloggers and social networkers – how do you f*ck that up in a RECORDED message??)
6. “I think in America from time to time we have to go through some difficult times — and I think we’re going through those difficult economic times for a purpose, to bring us back to those Biblical principles of you know, you don’t spend all the money. You work hard for those six years and you put up that seventh year in the warehouse to take you through the hard times. And not spending all of our money. Not asking for Pharaoh to give everything to everybody and to take care of folks because at the end of the day, it’s slavery. We become slaves to government.” (June 2011)

   

   I couldn't help myself, this is begging to be shared with the world!

7. “Juarez is reported to be the most dangerous city in America.” (referring to a city that is across the Texas border in Mexico, Feb 2011)
8. “I am a firm believer in intelligent design as a matter of faith and intellect, and I believe it should be presented in schools alongside the theories of evolution.” (2010)
9. “Even if an alcoholic is powerless over alcohol once it enters his body, he still makes a choice to drink. And, even if someone is attracted to a person of the same sex, he or she still makes a choice to engage in sexual activity with someone of the same gender.” (in his 2008 book)
10. “George W. Bush did a incredible job in the presidency, defending us from freedom.” (2010)

And next up we have my favourite crazy for this election – so much more interesting to hear about then that hot (what Im not ashamed to admit republicans are teeming with psycho hotties) but exceedingly moronic Palin woman. So without further adieu, some of the funniest quotes from Michelle Bachmann:

1. “Help!!!! HEEEELLLLLLPPPPPP!!!!! I was being held against my will!” (Women’s Restroom in Scandia, Minnesota, April 2005)
2. “Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.” (April 2009)
3. “Little children will be forced to learn that homosexuality is normal and natural and perhaps they should try it.”
4. “I don’t know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We’ve had an earthquake; we’ve had a hurricane. He said, ‘Are you going to start listening to me here?’ Listen to the American people because the American people are roaring right now. They know government is on a morbid obesity diet and we’ve got to rein in the spending.” (suggesting at a presidential campaign event in Florida that the 2011 East Coast earthquake and hurricane was a message from God)
5. “Is there no longer freedom of speech in this chamber, Mr. President?….Mr. President…MR. PRESIDENT?….You can turn my microphone off now.” (Last day of 2004 Session)
6. (1) “Literally, if we took away the minimum wage—if conceivably it was gone—we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level.” (2)“If we allow businesses to be prosperous and accrue capital, they’ll be giving their employees more than they can even begin to imagine. But when we continue to tie cement blocks on businesses (like the minimum wage) and constrain them, they can actually do less than their employees.” (3) “I was wondering, if most employers are already doing this anyway, isn’t minimum wage really just superfluous? Why do we even have one?” (4) “If raising the minimum wage to $7.00 an hour is a good idea, that why dont we just raise it to $20.00 an hour, that must be even better.” (Jobs, Energy and Community Development Committee, testifying against SF 3, a bill to raise the MN minimum wage, 2005)
7. “No one that I know disagrees with natural selection — that you can take various breeds of dogs … breed them, you get different kinds of dogs,” she said. “It’s just a fact of life. … Where there’s controversy is (at the question) ‘Where do we say that a cell became a blade of grass, which became a starfish, which became a cat, which became a donkey, which became a human being?’ There’s a real lack of evidence from change from actual species to a different type of species. That’s where it’s difficult to prove.” (Newspaper 2003)
   
8. “Iran is the troublemaker trying to tip over apple carts all over Baghdad right now because they want America to pull out. And you know why? It’s because they’ve already decided, that they’re going to territory, they’re- they’re going to partition Iraq and half of Iraq, the western northern portion of Iraq is going to be called, the United, uh, uh, the, the uh, -oh, I’m sorry, I can’t remember the actual name of it now, but it’s going to be called, um, uh, the, the, uh, uh the Iraq State of Islam, something like that. And I-I’m sorry, I-I don’t have the official name, but it is meant to be the training ground for the terrorists. There’s already an agreement made; they’re going to get half of Iraq and that is going to be a –a terrorist free,-a terrorist safe haven zone.” (Feb 2007)
9. “I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out under another, then under another Democrat president, Jimmy Carter. I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.” (on the 1976 Swine Flu outbreak that happened when Gerald Ford, a Republican, was president, April 28, 2009)
10. “Well what I want them to know is just like, John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa. That’s the kind of spirit that I have, too” (getting her John Waynes mixed up during an interview after launching her presidential campaign in Waterloo, Iowa, where she grew up. The beloved movie star John Wayne was born in Winterset, Iowa, three hours away. The John Wayne that Waterloo was home to is John Wayne Gacy, a notorious serial killer. June 2011)
11. “I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out: Are they pro-America or anti-America?” (calling for a new McCarthyism, Oct. 2008)
12. “Before we get started, let’s all say ‘Happy Birthday’ to Elvis Presley today.” (on what was actually the anniversary of Elvis’s death, Aug 2011)
13. “There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.” (Oct 2006)
14. And my favourite: “I look at the Scripture and I read it and I take it for what it is. I give more credence in the Scripture as being kind of a timeless word of God to mankind, and I take it for what it is. And I don’t think I give as much credence to my own mind, because I see myself as being very limited and very flawed, and lacking in knowledge, and wisdom and understanding. So, I just take the Bible for what it is, I guess, and recognize that I am not a scientist, not trained to be a scientist. I’m not a deep thinker on all of this. I wish I was. I wish I was more knowledgeable, but I’m not a scientist.” (2003)