Food For Thought: Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

NOTE: The original source of this is unknown to me, but the sheer cleverness of this was too good to not share! And what, with this being about partway through the week and sliding toward the weekend and all, I think we could all use a good laugh and a little something to think about, don’t you?

With that in mind folks, enjoy!

The following is an actual question given on a University of Liverpool
chemistry final exam.

The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared 
it with colleagues via the Internet, which is why we now have the 
pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law
 that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we 
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate 
at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once
 a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are 
leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the 
different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these
 religions state that, if you are not a member of their religion, you 
will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do 
not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go 
to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the 
number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the
 rate of change of the volume in Hell. Because Boyle’s Law states that
 in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant,
the volume of Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
 enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
 until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in 
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes 

So which is it?

 If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra during my freshman 
year, that “it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,”
and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then 
number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is endothermic and
 has already frozen over.

 The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
 follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct…leaving
 only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being – which
 explains why, last night, Sandra kept shouting
”Oh my God.”

This student received the only “A”.

For all my browncoats out there!!

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Definitely an “A++”. I read every word of the reasoning and cannot disagree.

    1. Spider42 says:

      My thoughts precisely! 🙂

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