Crude But Effective [SHORT FICTION]

I’ve got a doozy of a teeny-tiny little story for you this time folks! I was in the mood to write something but didn’t want to immerse and thankfully there was this past weeks Trifecta Challenge! Some of you have seen me write for it before, for the rest, this is the quick explanation:

trifecta-blog-banner3-currentThis is a fun and simple challenge that I’m enjoying trying my hand at, even more so because I’ve always found I’m terrible at willingly writing things that are really, really short!

Anyway! This week’s challenge was using this:


1: existing in a natural state and unaltered by cooking or processing <crude oil>
2 archaic : unripe, immature
3: marked by the primitive, gross, or elemental or by uncultivated simplicity or vulgarity <a crude stereotype>
4: rough or inexpert in plan or execution <a crude shelter>
5: lacking a covering, glossing, or concealing element :obvious <crude facts>
6: tabulated without being broken down into classes <thecrude death rate>

So anyway, here’s the first thing that came to mind when I was told to write a story using this definition of the word “Crude”. Now I’m curious to see how this makes you consider my mental health! I hope you enjoy it, I definitely did.


The heavens thundered and earth itself seemed about to split apart as Arborn’s mystic barrier deflected the dark energies that threatened to destroy the whole village, sending wild bolts of of black lightning in all directions.

Around him the villagers cowered, huddled together in the village square as the strange magicks exploded around them, bending every known natural law. Some of them looked like they would need a restroom soon, others seemed to have given up on that luxury already.

Feeling a gap in the onslaught, Arborn ignored the smells and piercing cries of those around him and reminding himself that he was a Wizard and not an evil Warlock, cast forth fresh energy to reinforce the barrier. But in his heart he knew that unless something went in his favour, he was like an ant with a teeny umbrella under a magnifying glass and the noonday sun. The power of the demon possessing the villages priest was too much for him.

It seemed all hope was lost and he was about to decide “to hell with it” and pull a teleportation spell to get out while he still could when a thundrous roar went up from behind him and he turned expecting a fresh threat.

To his ever-lasting chagrin it was Blogort, somehow flying across the sky above him, straight at the evil that assailed them. As the grungily attired wood-Wizard flew overhead, his mud and blood caked kilt flapping in the breeze, Arborn noticed that he had powerfully glowing bands on his wrists.

“The crude little shit-swizzle!” he cursed, “He actually found the bloody cavern of dreams!”

In the next moments, Arborn was forced to stand by and watch as the swarthy young woodsman unleashed unimaginable power and drove the dark entities back – Arborn himself forced to stand around holding the barrier up, lest someone die on his watch and it get back to the council.

This was the worst day ever.


10 Comments Add yours

  1. jannatwrites says:

    “…reminding himself that he was a Wizard and not an evil Warlock” – seems like a little self-deception so he doesn’t think he’s all that bad 🙂

    1. Spider42 says:

      You could be right, he is a bit of an arse as it is! ;D

  2. kallanannie says:

    It really isn’t Arborn’s day, is it? This was lots of fun to read–great action, some nice, light touches of humour. Nicely done.

    1. Spider42 says:

      Many thanks! 🙂
      I always feel hesitant about writing humour so am glad it came off alright.

  3. Draug419 says:

    The image of a wizard flying through the air like you described is somehow very amusing 😀 Love it!

    1. Spider42 says:

      Awesome! Thank you!
      I’m so happy the jokes aren’t falling flat! 🙂

  4. Someone else is always looking to take another’s glory.

    Thank you for linking up. Please don’t forget to return for the voting!

    1. Spider42 says:

      Thanks, will do my best to read as much as humanly possible!

  5. I see an interesting blend of archaic and contemporary language. It’s not personally something I’ve tried, but it does lend itself to incorporate a more modern sense if humour which isn’t always easy with the former. Also, liking the names of your characters – coming up with them is one of my favourite parts of writing medieval/Fantasy RPG style prose.

    1. Spider42 says:

      Thanks man, I’ve been on this trip for a while now where I like to try and create a blended narrative – more so since as you might know by now, I like to destroy the existing world and create wild new ones from the remains! (insert evil toothy grin here!)
      The hard part I’ve realised is being able to carry a modern sensibility to the humour that you mention but not directly referencing which to me feels like a cheap cop-out of being more inventive most times. And yes, I love coming up with names for characters and things is one of the little joys of writing I think! 🙂
      Thanks for stopping by buddy!

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