Random thoughts from north of 30

So, I’m a person who likes to let the mind wander, likes to look back at the past, to contemplate and be curious. This can often be a good, enlightening thing – BUT, more often than not, it lends itself to some real randomness if you let it. fe9

With that lovely intro, here’s some randomness for you, from someone who not too long back, crossed over into the realm dreaded by some – your 30’s!

  • Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Sega and Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You took the cartridge out, blew in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid alive I knew did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? Not a clue. There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s and if there were, most of us didn’t know it yet. And somehow we just figured shit out.
  • I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least “kind of tired”.
  • Nothing in life sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong…
  • Do policemen ever get pissed off that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit?
  • More often than not, when someone is telling me a story, all I can think about is, “I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my story that’s better, but also more directly involves me.”
  • Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know” feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
  • LOL has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.
  • I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
  • I love that rare moment of true camaraderie, when an entire lane of cars teams up to prevent some arsehole from cutting ahead of them all illegally. Stay strong, mi familia!!
  • Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Jeans? Jeans never get dirty. Ever.
  • Why is it that during any meetings where the whole room has to go around and say their name and where theyre from, I get so incredibly nervous? I know my name… I know where I’m from… why is this a problem?!
  • There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
  • As a driver I hate pedestrians and as a pedestrian I hate drivers But no matter what the mode of transport, I always hate bicyclists, motorcyclists and pretty much anything on two wheels. Screw you guys. Learn how to drive!
  • Have you ever been walking and realized that you’re going in the opposite direction of where youre supposed to be going – and instead of just pulling a 180 and walking back the way you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone and mutter to yourself to ensure that whatever strangers are in the surrounding area, don’t thinks you’re crazy?
  • I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
  • Anytime someone says “I’m not book smart, I’m street smart”, all I can hear is “I’m not real smart, I’m imaginary smart”.
  • What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
  • If Carmen San Diego and Waldo (remember them?) ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
  • Bad decisions make good stories, always. Period.
  • Is it just me or are people getting sluttier every year?
  • You can never know precisely when it’ll strike, but there comes that moment every day at work. when your brain just decides that you‘re no longer doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
  • There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
  • I think everyone has that one movie they love so much that it actually becomes stressful to watch it with others! You‘ll end up wasting the entire time shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure you laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that you’re still the only one who really, really gets it.
  • What would happen if you ran over a ninja?

LATER FOLKS!

 scotch-anchorman


 

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